ASK NEALE: New Husband Ignores Stepdaughter


I love the following excerpt from "Being a Stepparent: What You Need to Make it Work"

by Karen Young

There are going to be rough patches and that’s okay. Accept them as a sign of progression towards a new kind of family – one with you in it. Your experience of the stepfamily might be different to what you expected but it doesn’t mean a happy ending isn’t coming.

It’s likely that at some point you will feel like an outsider, as well as jealous, lonely, resentful, confused and inadequate. You’ll probably experience \hostility, indifference or rejection from your stepkids and more than likely you’ll fight with your partner more than you expected. This is normal. Accept it, let it unfold and most importantly don’t take it personally, though I know that’s easier said than done.

It feels like a shake up, and it is, but it’s all part of the adjustment the family has to go through to get to something better. The family is recalibrating and changing shape to make way for you. That sort of adjustment was never going to be easy. Sometimes things have to fall apart a little so they can come back together in a different way. See the rough patches for what they are – a remaking, a realignment, a progression towards
something new, rather than a threat.

Comments (3)
No. 1-3

Neale, this is horrible that a new husband would treat ANY child this way.


I am getting remarried soon and have two young children, I want everyone to get along but my children's father is still very much in their lives which is good but not sure how to explain the relationship of their new stepfather.


I never felt accepted by my stepfather but we learned to tolerate each other.

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